I’m still me

I felt compelled to write this type of post because lately, I’ve felt that I needed to remind myself and the people in my life that despite all of this cancer bullsh*t: I’m still me.

It’s natural to automatically treat someone that has cancer (or any type of illness) as though they are suddenly different; you treat them like they’re dying or already gone or incapable of living a normal lifestyle.  This is not how it should be and I’m here to tell you that.

I’m twenty-six years old and up until April 20, 2018, I considered myself a relatively normal person.  I have a job, I went to school, I’m in a steady relationship, I like to binge-watch Netflix shows, watch movies, listen to music, read books, cook, you name it.  And guess what… none of that has changed.  I have to remind myself of this daily.  Yes, the status of my health has absolutely changed, but who I am as a person, has not.  Maybe I’ve grown in terms of how I perceive the world or the gratitude that I now have for things that I once took for granted.  Maybe I’ve become a “stronger” person because of my diagnosis.  Yes, my appearance has changed and maybe I don’t go to work every day anymore and I graduated college… but I’m still me.

I feel as though once you put your story out there into the world, the world suddenly sees only what you’re going through and that everything else prior to that, has vanished.  For me, it seems as though my diagnosis may overshadow who I am in reality.  I’m not “Breast Cancer Taylor Trenski” or “Taylor Trenski with the Breast Cancer” or “The Sick Person with the blog also known as Taylor Trenski” — No.

I’m Taylor Trenski—period.

We as human beings are so multifaceted that it makes me really sad some days to know that my sickness may overshadow all of the other things that I have to offer the world.  It may not be anything grandiose or magnificent, but I’m still your average twenty-something-year-old who wants to be a wife, a career woman, a homemaker, a sister, an aunt, a friend.  All of those things are just as important, if not more, than what the status of my health is.

Many times people say that their sickness, or whatever they’re going through, does not define them…yet, it’s all they talk about.  It’s all they are about.  I truly believe in the power of the mind and I’ve fallen victim to my own.  I’ve had so many days where I allow my mind to trick me into believing that I’m only a person with cancer now and that’s that.  I’ve allowed myself to think that I have to be petrified of the future and what’s to come.  I’m here to tell you that, in the words of Pastor Craig Groeschel, your life is moving in the direction of your strongest thoughts.

This is extremely true.

Sometimes, my strongest thoughts are my most negative thoughts and therefore, my life, decisions, my actions…they all follow suit.  Then I wonder why everything seems so awful or against me.  Well, it’s because I believe that everything is awful and/or against me!  I guess I’m getting off track a little bit…

If you know anyone (even if it’s me!) that is dealing with something scary, life-altering, different, and whatnot, please remember that we’re all still regular human beings.  We’re still the friend that you’d text to say hello or ask to go out to lunch.  We’re still the person on social media liking and sharing food videos.  We’re still the sister, daughter, co-worker, aunt, colleague, or acquaintance that you once knew, but just a little extra awesome! 😉

So, if anyone, in particular, comes to mind while you’re reading this, shoot them a text or a phone call to let them know that you’re thinking about them and then, do this totally crazy thing… are you ready… be normal.  Be yourself.

Happy Monday.

Love, Taylor

 

 

Published by taylor + tell

Hello, I'm Taylor! I am 27 years old & I live in Pittsburgh, PA with my loving fiancé & dog, Milo. I am a daughter of the King; a sister, friend & human being just navigating through life. Welcome to my blog where everyone can gather to read my thoughts, stories + more!

3 thoughts on “I’m still me

  1. This has given you a platform to speak truth like this to ALL people regardless of their situation. Thank you for using your difficulties to inspire others! You just reset my morning onto a different track. I am looking forward to your next post. (And I am praying for you and yours.)

    Like

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