Well, well, well… it’s been a minute. Haha. I think I begin almost every one of my posts with a comment about how I’m really not very good at keeping up with this thing, but it is what it is and here I am with a fresh new blog post! I have a lot to update you all on, so let’s see how well I can navigate through the past month or so.
With Thanksgiving approaching, I think this post is coming at a perfect time. I know this holiday is usually connotated with lots of food, all of the Thanksgiving staples like turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and gravy…but I view Thanksgiving in a new way. I don’t view Thanksgiving (the holiday) as a singular day to celebrate, but a way of life. When you look up the word Thanksgiving in the dictionary, this is what you get:
- the expression of gratitude, especially to God.
“…especially to God.” Yes. A thousand times over—yes. I want you to know that I would not be where I am today without my faith and without the love & grace from God. In the past, I’ve never really been a heavily “religious” person, but I’ve always believed in God. No, I don’t technically attend church (sometimes I watch Life.Church Online when I remember), but my “church” is the quiet time that I spend with Christ, the beautiful worship songs that I listen to, prayer + conversation with God—it’s more than just a building, it’s my heart. You may or may not align with my beliefs, but I do hope you’ll believe me when I say that my diagnosis brought me closer to God and therefore, allowed me to lean on Him to get through the most difficult time of my entire life.
Whew. Okay, moving on…
Since my last chemo treatment, I’ve had a post-chemo MRI which showed that the chemo worked for me! Meaning that I had a response to it, which is amazing news! After the MRI, I don’t think anything worth telling you happened because all I was waiting for was…
My surgery on November 12, 2018.
I had a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction. As you can imagine, I was petrified that day. It began at 5:00 in the morning and I was literally shaking with fear the entire time I was on the way to the hospital, checking in, waiting, pre-op, everything. I have spoken to many other women about their surgeries and even though they’ve told me so much, nothing really prepared me for what I was about to endure.
With that said, I must tell you that my surgical team was AMAZING. I genuinely love my surgeons, their PA’s, and the nurses. Everyone I came into contact with that day was so kind and reassuring, it made me feel a little better and more at ease. I feel really blessed to have had them on my side, literally saving my life.
I’m having trouble conveying my experience in words because A) I can’t remember much from that day once I was put under anesthesia, and B) it’s such a unique experience, especially for a 26-year-old, that I don’t know what to say.
From what I can remember after waking up, was asking the nurse over and over again, “Did I do okay?” haha. She was sweet and told me, over and over again, “You did amazing!” My friends Samantha and her husband, Mike, came to the hospital at 5:00AM that day (seriously the sweetest friends ever) and sat with Andrew & our families as they waited for me. They also brought all of us a homecooked meal made by their friend, Lauren, and I just think that was the nicest thing. I ate 2 full plates as soon as I woke up! Haha, I was starving post-op.
I’m sure you’re wondering how “they” look, aka my new foobs. They look great. My surgeons are seriously wizards or something. Of course, it’s all new to me and it’s been painful at times. I have two surgical drains hanging out of my body and I’m all bruised up…but I’m alive. I am well. I am so fortunate to have had the luxury of getting this surgery and all of the medicine (read: chemo) prior to November 12th.
When my surgeon’s PA called me with my pathology results a couple of days post-op, I was nervous as heck. I wasn’t sure what to expect because I forgot to mention, I had lymph nodes removed due to some cancer cells being present and in my head, that meant bad news.
Nope! All good news. 🙂 Praise the Lord!
I am truly doing well. I am still healing, both mentally and physically, but I am on my way. Of course, I still have fears buried in the back of my mind that I worry about, but I got through this really, really difficult storm and that’s worth sharing.
I pray that I never have to go through this again and that I will continue to heal and that everything will go up from here.
Thank you, body, for being such an amazing vessel to me. For fighting for me every day. I promise to honor you by eating good, whole foods, words of positivity, and letting the small stuff go. You are awesome.